Helping yourself heal
By sharing your grief outside yourself, healing occurs. Ignoring your grief won't make it go away; talking about it often makes you feel better. Allow yourself to speak from your heart, not just your head. Doing so doesn't mean you are losing control, or going "crazy". It is a normal part of your grief journey.
Find caring friends and relatives who will listen without judging what you say. Seek out those persons who will "Walk with, not in front of" or "behind" you in your journey through grief.
You Are Not Alone
Depending on the circumstances of your loss, grieving can take weeks to years. Grieving gradually helps you adjust to a new chapter in your life.
Full awareness of a major loss can happen suddenly or over a few days or weeks. While an expected loss (such as a death after a long illness) can take a short time to absorb, a sudden or tragic loss can take more time. Similarly, it can take time to grasp the reality of a loss that doesn't affect your daily routine, such as a death in a distant city.
During this time, you may feel numb and seem distracted. You may search or yearn for your lost loved one. Funerals and other rituals and events during this time may help you accept the reality of your loss.
What is grief ?
Grief is a natural response to loss. It's the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. The more significant the loss, the more intense the grief will be. You may associate grief with the death of a loved one, which is often the cause of the most intense type of grief.
The grieving process
Grieving is a personal and highly individual experience. How you grieve depends on many factors, including your personality and coping style, your life experience, your faith, and the nature of the loss.
Healing happens naturally and cannot be forced or hurried.
Accepting a loss
In the acceptance phase, you learn to accept the loss and integrate it into your life. It's not so much that you are fine with the loss or tragedy. Instead, your mind, body and emotions are finally able to accept the events that have occurred, and you see it as something you can assimilate into your everyday life, thoughts and feelings.
So, be easy on yourself, and as long as you are getting the support and help you need during your healing process (and you have a professional health care practitioner monitoring you for any concerning symptoms or feelings) you should allow yourself as much or as little time as you need to heal.
For people who have problems expressing themselves and those who have extensive responsibilities that serve to distract from their loss, grief counseling can help them process their feelings while simultaneously coping with the changes in their lives. For many, working through loss in grief counseling sessions can prevent the negative physical and emotional side effects that come from ignoring emotions after a painful loss.